http://www.barackobama.com/2008/06/15/remarks_of_senator_barack_obam_78.php
I woke up this morning to CNN on the TV. In my half daze between sleep and wake I hear “Obama’s Father’s Day speech… he criticizes black fathers and tells them to stop acting like boys and act like men.” and I start to listen. Now I am a white woman. I know little about black fathers. I do know about fathers in general. I do understand that some men do walk away from their kids but my thoughts first thing this morning…what about the fathers who want the responsibility and are denied it? Does he miss that one? Okay so his dad walked away when he was 2 but why? Did he just chose to walk off or was he pushed out? What about the dad’s that are pushed out?
Yes, he had many good points in his speech, “We know the statistics – that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime; nine times more likely to drop out of schools and twenty times more likely to end up in prison. They are more likely to have behavioral problems, or run away from home, or become teenage parents themselves.” Very true, we know the statistics. Then why are the family courts limiting father’s time with children to every other weekend …4 days a month? Even when father’s attempt to be active in their child’s life they are limited. Oh you need to be responsible pay supportand do your 4 days?
Then he goes on to say, “But we also need families to raise our children. We need fathers to realize that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to realize that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child – it’s the courage to raise one. ” Yes, Mr. Obama but we need the courts to realize that too. Maybe he should address that one to the family court system? It seems to me that many me believe that and are denied the right to follow through with it.
I really loved this part, “It’s up to us – as fathers and parents – to instill this ethic of excellence in our children. It’s up to us to say to our daughters, don’t ever let images on TV tell you what you are worth, because I expect you to dream without limit and reach for those goals. It’s up to us to tell our sons, those songs on the radio may glorify violence, but in my house we live glory to achievement, self respect, and hard work. It’s up to us to set these high expectations. And that means meeting those expectations ourselves. That means setting examples of excellence in our own lives.” No kidding, but you have 4 days a week to do this ..that is it! Make sure you pay that support though!
Much of his speech focused on the role of father’s and how important it is. That I think we can all agree on. However, when the government…the family court system breaks down and limits that role we have the problems we have with our countries children. We have the violence, the lack of respect, poor self-esteem, and the utter mess we have.
So Obama, what are you going to do to ensure every ready, willing, and able father has a chance to do what you ask? How are you going to ensure they can be involved in their child’s life? What are you going to do about mother’s pushing father’s out of their children’s life with the help of the Family Court system?
Obama ends his speech, “That is our ultimate responsibility as fathers and parents. We try. We hope. We do what we can to build our house upon the sturdiest rock. And when the winds come, and the rains fall, and they beat upon that house, we keep faith that our Father will be there to guide us, and watch over us, and protect us, and lead His children through the darkest of storms into light of a better day. That is my prayer for all of us on this Father’s Day, and that is my hope for this country in the years ahead. May God Bless you and your children. Thank you. ”
Yep, that is all father’s have hope..hope that one day our legal system will allow father’s to be father’s. Hope that this dark storm on Fatherhood will eventually bring a bright sunny day where father’s can enjoy their children with out the legal mess, the conflict, the alienation, and the bitterness.